Guess what Windsor found on the internet?
by C.Y. Dementress
Summary: OCs by CP Coulter. Story based on "Dalton". Oneshot: It was Han Westwood's usual night on the internet when he found something highly relevant to Windsor's interest concerning a certain Kurt Hummel.


Under the harsh glare of more than a dozen computer screens, Han Westwood was idly tapping away while humming a tune. His feet were comfortably propped up on the desk as he gave each monitor a once over. Sipping from a can of Mountain Dew, Han pushed his glasses back up as he continued to type.

There was nothing unusual tonight. Aside from reading fans' comments on the latest Doctor Who episode while redesigning his website, it was just another night on the internet. Yet, the Caterpillar found himself stumbling from one link to another and… lo and behold.

Han's eyes widened in surprise and quickly sat up, nearly upsetting his half-drank soda and a tall stack of CDs. After a flurry of mouse clicks and frantic keyboard taps, he found himself sitting back on to his chair, breathing out an amused chuckle as he watched the scene play out on his screen. Without thinking twice, he grabbed his trusty walkie-talkie and made the command.

"Tweedles, get everyone in Blaine's room stat. I found something you have to see to believe."

Han paused. He didn't feel like dying tonight. He added, "without Alice."

* * *

"Can anyone please tell me what this is all this about?" Blaine grumbled. He was totally unprepared to entertain company in his room at 11 o'clock when everyone else was getting ready for bed. David was hooking up Blaine's laptop to his widescreen, as being instructed by Han. Wes and Reed were lounging on the floor and seemed rather curious while the Twins were possibly giddy with excitement. Dwight (who was sitting in a small rock salt circle), as usual, was paranoid. Blaine only caught the last few words of his mutterings which sounded suspiciously like, "… what if this is like The Ring?"

"Here's the story," Han said from a Skype window on the laptop. His headset and the tone of his voice gave everyone the impression that they were about to exchange military-protected secrets that if divulged, would result in death. "I was downloading some rare mp3s off MySpace because it was the only place I could find them and—"

Wes yawned sleepily. "Get to the point, Han."

Han's face flickered to clarity on Blaine's widescreen as David finally got to connecting the cords right.

Windsor's resident intelligence coughed a little. "Right. Long story short, one link led to another and I found this. I'll send it you in a moment as soon as I've finished compiling everything." He went back to clicking some more.

"Is there a reason why Kurt isn't here?" Reed piped up.

"Absolutely," Han answered without looking up. He paused only for five seconds to observe a monitor to his left. "…oh good, he's still studying. There!" A final jab on the keyboard and he leaned back smugly.

"Gentlemen, I present to you… Kurt Hummel at McKinley."

A link was sent, opened, and the opening bars to "Single Ladies" played.

* * *

The Windsor conspirators burst out in raucous laughter at the same time as they watched a certain Burt Hummel descend the stairs behind Kurt and his back up dancers, shoot them a very confused look, turned off the stereo, and then a "Dad!" from Kurt. It was almost as though the scene came out of a video from FailBlog.

"Oh my god!"

"This is brilliant!"

"Oh my Gucci, Kurt is going to kill us!"

"Calling it: Single Ladies for Regionals! Kurt's lead!"

Some of the boys were clutching their ribs, falling over one another. Dwight's pale lips twitched upwardly as he whispered to himself about never encountering "cursed spirit-invoking dances" before. Evan and Ethan were ready to ambush Kurt across the hall when Han's voice crackled throughout the room. "Wait, you two. There's more!" The Twins smartly sat back down on Blaine's bed. They had brought popcorn earlier for the occasion.

The black and white video faded away and was replaced with a grainy cellphone-quality one. It was clear that the video was being shot from the bleachers. The boys could make out a football field and… dancing football players. They were momentarily stunned at the sight and before they could react, the choreography ended and there was a mad dash to score a touchdown. Nothing was heard from the audio except a deafening cheer from the crowd. Dwight frowned.

"So where is…?"

The video was cut and another football scene was shown. A smaller player in red was the center of attention. His arms were raised like a dancer waiting for his cue. "Single Ladies" blared from the overhead speakers and the football player began to shake his hips.

"No way…"

"Kurt was a kicker?"

"Single Ladies?"

"Is he seriously going to kick that football all the way—TOUCHDOWN!"

Blaine's room erupted into cheers and high-fives and popcorn. It was sheer madness.

"Calm down, you guys! These I found in the deep recesses of YouTube." Han sent several links, one of which was a mattress commercial, a sexy "Push It" number, a Madonna spoof video, a cheerdancing event…

* * *

Kurt Hummel emitted a wide yawn and shut his Physics book closed. He had enough of studying for the night. He stood up to stretch his body and, ignoring the wild hoots coming from the room across his, he began his moisturizing regime before going to bed.

The counter-tenor could have sworn he was only asleep for what felt like an hour or perhaps five minutes. Waking in the morning with fifty six cups of coffee perched around different areas of your room was one thing and was pretty much tolerable. When being jolted awake at 2am by a pair of twins pouncing on you, murder suddenly seemed like a reasonable idea.

"What the hell, you guys?" yelled Kurt, reaching over his bedside to turn on a lamp. Kurt squinted at the abrupt glare of light and it took him a moment to sort out his senses. Underneath his groggy haze, he was able to make out the occupants of the room; there was Wes and David at the foot of the bed, Reed was leaning on his bedpost, pale Dwight clutching his medallions and lining the door with salt and creepy chanting, Ethan and Evan splayed over his legs, and, he had only noticed now, Blaine was sitting right next to him. All of them were wearing wide Cheshire-knowing grins, except Blaine who smiled apologetically.

"I am so sorry, Kurt. I told them to let this wait in the morning." Blaine wrapped a protective arm around Kurt to try to mollify him. "But again, the Twins escaped me." He gestured helplessly at the two blondes lying over Kurt's bed sheets. Kurt felt his legs going numb from the weight.

He sighed. Another crazy moment to tell about Windsor House. "Please tell me you all are on something? I have no other logical explanations for your behavior." he said, his tone filled with surrender to decipher the madness. There was something to be wary of their excited grins.

"Kuuuuuuuuuuurt!" Ethan sang.

"We just thought of a new song for Regionals…" Evan started.

"We could do 'Single Ladies' by Beyonce."

"You can teach us the dance steps from the music video!"

"Or if you don't like the idea, we could do a Madonna tribute…"

"You know the song '4 Minutes', right?"

"Or we can take your suggestion and add a little showbiz panache with 'Le Jazz Hot'?"

"Then again we are considering 'Push It'…"

"Warblers can get slutty too, you know? Just ask Blaine!"

"Hey!" Blaine protested, turning a little red. Kurt just stared at them, not exactly understanding the point of the conversation. He brought his right hand to rub his temple.

"Let me get this straight. You all came up with song ideas for Regionals and decided to wake me up at this ungodly hour to tell me? Are you insane? Couldn't you have waited in the morni—Oh." Kurt's eyes widened as something dawned on him. "Oh no…"

Evan and Ethan, if possible, only grinned wider. "About time!" They said together. Everyone in the room relished in the beautiful medley of emotions crossing their Alice's face. Even Dwight came upon them to watch, only to brandish his medallions for protection from the oncoming violent reaction.

"Please tell me you didn't…" Kurt faintly stated.

"You should have seen Blaine's face when you slapped your butt in those leotards." Wes smirked.

Making the ex-acting Windsor prefect turn even redder, David supplied, "The term is 'undapper thoughts'. Reed's words, not mine."

"Are you sure I can't check out McKinley?" Dwight demanded. "I do know the kind of dances that can disturb vicious spirits from …"

Waving Dwight's question aside, Kurt focused on how they could have acquired videos of some of his past (and slightly embarrassing) performances. "B-but how could you have seen it, I… HAN!" Kurt shouted at the ceiling. "YOU ARE DEAD IN THE MORNING!" The walkie-talkie on Wes' back pocket started with a short _kssht_ and replied in Han's voice.

"Sorry Hummel. There is certain information in the world that needs to be shared. Consider this as one of it." After a mischievous chuckle, Han clicked off.

Kurt groaned. He was too tired to make any more sense of this, not that half the Windsor boys had any sense to begin with. He turned to the rest of the boys. Still lying on his legs, Ethan and Evan stared thoughtfully into the distance. They seemed to be pondering on an idea.

"I wonder how the judges would feel about us bringing mattresses to the stage in our blue pajamas…"

"GET OUT!" Kurt grabbed his pillow and threw it at the boys' direction. There was a mad scramble as the Twins leapt up from the bed. Roaring with laughter, Wes, David, Dwight, and the Tweedles fled the room in record time. Laughter can still be heard from the hallway. Reed simply continued to laugh boisterously, finally collapsing on his own bed and accidentally hitting the bed's headboard.

"Would you please stuff your face with a Gap sock, Reed Van Kamp?" Kurt glared. The smaller boy managed to downgrade his laugh by stifling it into his pillow, at the same time he rubbed his head on the spot where it had made contact with the headboard.

"Well, If it makes you feel any better," said Blaine, getting up from Kurt's side after shortly patting his knee. "You look hot shaking your hips like that." He pressed a kiss on Kurt's cheek, cheekily humming "Single Ladies" as he walked to the door and out. The room was suddenly quiet, save for Reed's never ending giggles and Kurt's flustered spluttering from his boyfriend's last comment. The latter fell back on to his pillow and pulled the blankets up to his head, as though desiring never to emerge and having to face the boys at breakfast.

For the rest of Kurt Hummel's entire stay at Dalton Academy, Windsor will never let him live this down.

Ever.


End file.
